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雅思写作十大失败开头总结及修改

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雅思写作十大失败开头总结及修改

如今雅思考试人数不断攀升,相对竞争也越来越激烈,打分越来越严格。雅思写作分数不高,怪雅思写作考官压分?你的雅思作文到底是打动雅思考官的雅思高分作文还是气死雅思写作考官的低分作文,经验丰富的雅思写作考官从开头就能一眼识别你的雅思写作功底。关于雅思写作高分技巧,各位考鸭一定看了很多,对比自己的雅思作文,还是看不出自己低分的原因?你的雅思写作没有进步空间了吗?那不如反过来,看一些雅思写作失败案例吧。

雅思写作失败开头一:考官不吃中式客气这套

典型失败案例1:Topic 1-Should college students be allowed to get married?This topic is very interesting. I’m very interested in talking about this topic. Because I’m also a college student and I’m not married……

修改方案:关于写作话题还是开门见山,直奔主题吧。In my opinion, it would not be a wise decision to allow college students to get married。

Topic 2-Will modern technology, such as the Internet, ever replace the book or the writing word as the sole source of information? (雅思写作真题)

Ok, this topic is a very good topic. First, let me tell you a story: I have a friend, he likes go on the internet very much. Every day, he uses internet to read news or play internet games. So we can see the internet is more and more important in our daily life.

Topic 3-The importance of environmental protection.Oh, this topic is surely very important. Isn’t it? Of course! It’s really very very important!

雅思写作失败开头二:中式英语表达

典型失败案例:Topic 1-The happiest moment in your life.In our life, there are always some moments which make your heart flower opened angrily……

Topic 2- The population problem.The population problem is a very big problem. For example, in the city centers of Shanghai, we can always see people mountain people sea there.

Topic 3- Is there fairness in today’s business world?I think in today’s society, there is no fairness in the business world. For example, I always chopped when I go out buy things……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person.Being a nice person have many advantage. I believe if a people always do bad things, he will get “baoying”.

雅思写作失败开头三:观点模糊不明

典型失败案例: Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think this topic is very hard to say. Because I am still very little,only 17, and not married, so this topic is very difficult for me……

雅思写作失败开头四:开头就跑题

典型失败案例:Topic-It is said that nowadays one can not acquire thequalifications and quality essential to success through university education. Towhat extent do you agree or disagree with the statement? (雅思写作真题)

I think to success, we must have a lot of important qualities. To havethese important qualities, we must learn a lot of things, for example, English,music tools, and etc. We can learn these qualities from our teachers, our friends and from books. All in all, we can learn from many places.

雅思写作失败开头五:语法错误

典型失败案例:Topic-If children behave badly, should their parents accept responsibility and also be punished? (雅思写作真题)

About this problem, my think is if children behave badly, then parents are not right. Because teach child is parent’s responsibility. So we also punish parents too besides children is also should.

雅思写作失败开头六:没有重点的开头

典型失败案例:Topic-The importance of environmental protection

This issue is surely very important, let’s talk about it!

雅思写作失败开头七:用词不当,表意不明

典型失败案例:Topic-Should college students be allowed to get married?

I think college students should not be allowed to get married because they are very young and so we can’t take the responsibility to form a family.

雅思写作失败开头八:重复和啰嗦要不得

典型失败案例:Topic-Your opinion on DINK families

My opinion on DINK families is that DINK families is not a good thing. Andit is a bad thing. It brings no benefits to our society and it is even sometimesharmful to our society.

雅思写作失败开头九:不严谨的中式谚语

典型失败案例:Topic 1-Is it good to have a large family?

I think it is good to have a large family. Because we Chinese believe a sentence: “Many sons, many lucks”……

正确说法:Happiness lies in having many children

Topic 2 -Should we pretend to know everything or admit our ignorance?

We all know, our Chinese old fathers and grandfathers said: “Know is know, don’t know is don’t know”……

Topic 3- Do you think one’s character is greatly influenced by his/her family?

Chinese old words says very good: Dragon born dragon, phoenix born phoenix, rat’s son can make hole……

Topic 4- The advantage of being a nice person

I believe one sentence: “A good person is all life safe”. We Chinese people always say: “Good has good pay, bad has bad pay”.

雅思写作失败开头十: 观点片面

典型失败案例:Topic1-The importance of confidence

In my opinion, confidence is the most important thing for a person. All thesuccessful people in the world are full of confidence. While those people whodon’t have confidence, they all have failed.

Topic 2 - The solution to the traffic problem

I think to solve the traffic problem, very easy! For those who don’t obeythe traffic rules, we should put all of them into prison. If we do that, I’msure there will be no traffic problem any more.

雅思写作大作文范文:体育设施如何分配

真题范文:Some countries achieve international sporting success by building specialized facilities to train top athletes instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?(一些国家通过建造专门设施来训练顶尖运动员,而不是提供人人都可以使用的体育设施,从而实现国际体育上的成功。你认为这是积极的还是消极的发展?

雅思写作大作文参考范文

Many spectators would be too exhilarated to resist their feelings when they see their national flag rise with the national anthem in Olympic Games. These sports feats can hardly be achieved without some specialized facilities to train the most promising sportsmen. Although patriotism can be aroused by excellent performance, I hold the view that more sports facilities should be built to cater for the public.

One latent problem for the intended construction of specialized facilities exclusively for sportsmen is that it may dampen public’s enthusiasm for sports. Being discouraged from using the sports facilities, they are likely to believe that the access to sports is only a priority to a small group of top athletes. Whether these facilities can be utilized is based on how much contribution to the country people can make instead of the basic principle that each individual has the right to shape their bodies with some sports facilities.

It may also lead to a result that the potential talent pool of gifted athletes will be drained and lose its continuous supply. Most top sportsmen are not born to the stars, and their aptitude of sports occurs when they are jogging on the playground, playing tennis in the tennis court and running on the football pitch. Without the sports facilities accessible to the common people, their sports talent is unlikely to be found and then fully harnessed.

There are certainly some benefits of the specialized facilities construction. The top sportsmen can be professionally trained without much disturb of the public, thereby concentrating on their physical practice. They can also make full use of these facilities to boost their body and improve their professionalism. However, the beneficiaries are narrowly constrained with a small proportion of people and the sports resources are somewhat wasted.

专业设施建设当然有一些好处。优秀运动员可以经过专业训练,不受公众的干扰,从而专注于体育锻炼。他们还可以充分利用这些设施来提高身体素质,提高专业水平。然而,受惠者仅限于一小部分人,体育资源有点浪费。

In conclusion, the benefit of sports facilities should be enjoyed by more individuals rather than only meet the needs of the sports elites.

雅思写作大作文范文:面对面交流

雅思写作真题范文:People believe that using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore, people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?(人们相信使用手机和电脑进行交流。因此,人们失去了面对面交流的能力。你在多大程度上同意或反对

People believe that using mobile phones and computers to communicate. Therefore, people are losing the ability to communicate with each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

雅思写作大作文参考范文

Now you are benefiting from the use of mobile phone and the Internet as social interaction media, could you imagine what your daily lives would be without these inventions? Some people claim that individuals are gradually losing face-to-face communication skills. Nevertheless, from personal perspective, online communication cannot make people lose the ability of offline communication.

Apparently, excessive use of the Internet and mobile phones has been undermining our interpersonal relationship offline. Even during a face-to-face conversation, it is no rare thing that everyone is busy looking at his cellphones, neglecting his friends or families across the dinner table. In addition, it has become incredibly easy to contact each other electronically and share information instantly in social community. Gone are the days when people could only communicate via fixed telephone or writing letters which took several days to reach others. So no one is not crazy about smart phones and computers which boast cutting-edge functions like sharing photos and videos with more friends simultaneously.

In spite of the popularity of technological progress mentioned above, never should we turn a blind eye to the irreplaceablity of face-to-face communication. It is common that many schools impart knowledge to students by teaching in classrooms instead of distance education. The same is true of the cooperation among companies, which needs face to face conversation to acquire trust with each other in advance. Furthermore, although online contact may possess increasing numbers of friends, the permanence of mutual relationships cannot lack face-to-face interactions, which can be confirmed by the example of the closest friends and even loving couples. Besides, solving tricky issues are generally more effective and more convenient by surrounding colleagues or friends than by those who live and work in remote places and need online communication.

此外,虽然网上交往可能拥有越来越多的朋友,但相互关系的持久性不可能缺少面对面的交流,这可以通过最亲密的朋友甚至是恩爱夫妻的例子来证实。此外,解决棘手的问题通常比周围的同事和朋友更有效,更方便,而不是那些在偏远地区生活和工作的人,他们需要在线交流。



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